Magic, Sex, and Candy
by SlaughterWhore
Summary: Three extremely attractive witches are victims to many hardships at Hogwarts including Snape rape, the occasional Axel orgy, and much much more


My name is Anu Marribelle Koiv and I'm from Estonia and I have naturally porcelain skin. My hair is naturally white, but I die it black with teal streaks throughout it. I enjoy wearing bright eye-makeup (my signature look is bright purple shadow up to my eyebrows, thick eyeliner, and false eyelashes and rhinestones on my cheek) I am very sexy and all the boys like me when they first see me because I have a voluptuous and irresistible body. My parents kicked me out so I live on my own, but I'm so independent and started my own band with some other kids I know who were poor and lived on the streets and now I have enough moneys to go to Hogwarts because I was actually born a witch.

My name is Megumi Lazora Goku Jesus III. I have one blue eye and one green eye. I have long brown hair with silver streaks. My father gave me up when I was born. He left me with nothing but my name. I was raised by Marik and his lover Bakura. From a young age, I possessed some… unusual abilities. Anyways, Marik and Bakura wanted more time to have mind-blowing sex together, so they sent me to Hogwarts. I'm worried about going to a new place, because I'm really shy… Girls are usually mean to me, but boys are nice to me most of the time.

My name is Konstantina de Romanus; I have red hair that reaches my mid back and green eyes. I was born to a wealthy artist by the name of Marius in the marvelous city of Venice. Until recently I never knew my mother, but last week I met the whore, Bianca. I hate her and my father forever giving birth to me. Why oh why couldn't she have been a waitress or something other than a fucking whore! Anyways ever since I started attending Hogwarts my life has only gotten worse. Now I have hella homework, I have to worry about not getting raped by Sirius Black, and I'm constantly receiving letters from my father; begging me to return home. It all sucks like hell and so I have started to cut, it relieves stress and well it's become quite the hobby. I suppose the only good that has come of this entire situation is my two amazing friends, Anu and um I forget the others name. The one with the brown hair…maybe it was Mungi?

The three girls walked into Hogwarts on their first day. They walked down the halls in their robes and all the guys were staring at them because they all had full bouncy breasts. All three of them were in different houses- Anu was in Slytherin, Konstantina was in Gryffindor, and that other girl was in Ravenclaw. Even though they all different houses, they had their first class together, which was potions with Snape. The whole time, Snape was staring at Konstantina like he wanted to rape her. After class ended, he asked her to stay after class, but she declined she wanted to go cut herself, so he deduced over nine thousand points from Gryffindor.

Anu was very mad at Snape for doing this to her friend, so she took out a pokeball and threw it. Out of the pokeball came a mudkip, because she heard Snape liked mudkips. But the mudkip did not like Snape, and it used water gun on him. He was very astonished at the mudkip using water gun on him. He then took a lot of points from Slytherin, which was quite odd, because that is his OWN house. Usually, Snape likes kids in Slytherin, but he did not like Anu because she threw a mudkip at him, and it attacked his large voluptuous nose.

All this time, Megumi/the one no one cares about just watched with a blank expression. Suddenly, Axel, wearing a banana suit, flew in through the window and exclaimed "SHOOOP DA WHOOOOOOOOP! I can't let you do that, Snapefox. I am the juggernaut bitch Leeeeeeeroooooooooooooy Jennnnnnnkiiiiiiinsssss!"

"WTF?" asked Mudkip.

Just then, Megumi's phone rang. "Hello?"

"I'd like a large cheese pizza with pickles and raw squid on top and also put some sweet and sour sauce while you're at it… BINKY BOY!"

"Marik, wrong number…"

"What? This cannot be!"

"Goodbye."

Konstantina said, "Snape is about to flip a bitch, lettus leaf…"

Suddenly, a giant wild worm known as the wild 'chou-lance' popped out of the ground and ate Snape, and all the girls felt much safer because Snape was dead and couldn't rape them now. They were also worried because they could now be eaten as well by the giant chou-lance, the worm who was angry because it had the soul of a deceased drag queen to committed suicide because he was very sad and nobody liked him, kinda like Konstantina, but she is getting along better with life.

A large Asian woman appeared and she had large breasts and told them to drink ice cold milk. The girls were very confused and they went back to their rooms. When Megumi got to her room, Neville longbottom was there and, to her shock and arousment, was sitting naked on her bed.

They made sweet passionate love that lasted for hours until Garry fuckin Oka's Asian twin walked in exclaiming "I would like to purchase some llamas!" As soon as he noticed was occurring he decided to join in and make it a dirty orgy. MEANWHILE! Konstantina was walking the hall near the forest while mumbling her will.

"I am Konstantina, and I shall cease to exist and will cause my own demise, shall it be my need for my corpse undergoing rigormortis in the common room of Gryffindor, as was my want, as is my destiny."

"Konstant whatever, are you talking to yourself? Stop touching your large jugs whilst you seem to quite Edgar Allen Poe. It isn't normal to talk about killing yourself." Said Megumi

"Have you need change what now?" Asked Anu

"WHAAAAAAT?" They both said.

"Need work in English language think I." replied the Estonian shyly.

Suddenly. Anu woke up! HAHAHA TAKE THAT! IT WAS JUST A WET DREAM ON YOUR PART!

"Anu, hurry up… We have to kill Dumbledore because if we don't, he will be alive." Said Konstantina.

"People die if they are killed…" said Megumi.

"Uh oh… If dream that was dead not SNAPIST! GAHHH!" shrieked Anu.

Just then, Axel crawled out from under the bed. "It seems we have a Snapist in Linkin Park!"

"I love that band…" Konstantina said. "Would you like to do it right now? You're red hair reminds me of me being dead."

"OK!" exclaimed Axel, and they ran off.

"Me sooorry, Megumi, but I have to go… Have sex with Fred and George at the same time… Byezibyezi!" and the Anu flew away in her spaceship.

"….." and so Megumi stayed home and watched Lifetime.

AND MANY FUCKS WERE GIVEN THAT DAY TO EVERYONE EXCEPT MEGUMI

"Oh I Oscar I was a weaner Meyer!" sang Anu.

"Ugggggghhhhhh" moaned Konstantina as she entered the dining room.

"What happened to you, Konstantina?" questioned Megumi.

"Too much sex butt sex…." She replied.

"Butt sex is what?" asked Anu.

Suddenly the ghost of Snape snuck up behind Anu and proceeded to rape her.

"RAPE OF THE PEDOFILE HELP HELP HELPPPPPPPPP!" she screamed and Draco Malfoy came and saved her from the evil ghost of Snape.

They proceeded to live and Ichigo Kurasaki walked in while making out with Rukia and they all yelled HOLLOW HOLLOW and Ichigo saved them from the grand fisher that was attacking the students. Anu had been attacked by the hollow just as someone started knocking on the large black doors into the dining hall, and people were afraid to answer it.

"Don't open it; the evil people always knock on the door like that. They'll kill us." Warned Konstantina.

"No care knock on door open is nice." And she opened the door and there were many zombies of deceased Nazis waiting outside of the door. The students had not learned any spells to protect themselves from the zombies, so they all relied on Ichigo to kill them all with Getsuga Tenshou.

Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension…

"This is the least believable story I've ever read," said Lance disapprovingly.

Back to the story…

"Getsuga Tenshou!" cried Jonny Young Bosch von Rasenburg of Dalmasca. His powerful attack laid waste to all of the Nazi zombies.

"Rukia…" began Ichigo in a stereotypical shojo pose with cherry blossoms falling and his eyes all big and sparkly. "I love you!" And then they teleported away, back to the Sereitei.

"Lemme just take my clothes off… It always helps the situation…" stated Konstantina.

"Wait! No! Take my clothes off first!" demanded Axel, rushing into Konstantina's arms.

"Very well…" Konstantina said seductively.

"" said Yasutora Sado Chado Bobado Banana Fanna FoFado Meemainomanoh, CHADO!

"Boobies!" screamed Anu.

Meanwhile, again…

"This story has no plot. It is just a bunch of violence and sex jokes. And also Spongebob."

Back to the story…

Since Konstantina was too busy having hot passionate sex with Axel, Anu and Megumi walked toward the forbidden forest because they heard that the centaurs had candy. Anyways as they were walking they came across and old abandoned well.

"A well look there is" commented Anu.

"What do ya know it is a well!" maybe the candy is down there!"

The girls excitedly glanced down the well, expecting to find humongous mounds of candy and the weapons of mass destruction, but all they found was some creepy dead girl that smelled like suage.

They all had a hot passionate orgy and that is the end of the story because the authors are too tired to write any more. Thank youz.


End file.
